Communication - Why I am done watering dead plants.

This has kind of been a long one coming, I’ve been MIA for awhile between graduating college, changing jobs, traveling, wedding planning and accepting a full-time position at MU.

I have spent a lot of time keeping quiet over a lot of things in my life, and sometimes it is so tiring to just shut up. Yet, being quiet is also usually the easiest easy way to avoid controversy & issues whether that be with your friends or your family.

Communication is a two-way street and with that, forever so frequently I feel as though I have been watering dead plants. Do you know how tiring it is to reach out to people and them not reciprocate the same feelings or love towards you? I sat down at work the other day and realized I forgot to turn in my school books that were due that day. Colin graciously drove an hour to the school to drop them off and then an hour back home. We sat down for lunch that afternoon and he said “If they wanted to, they would” and that has been playing in my mind for the past week. My best friend graduated college in 2021 and moved 2 hours away. I see her at least once a month. She works two jobs, has a house, a long-term boyfriend, a job and we still talk at least once a week. Growing up my mom has always worked 2+ jobs, taken care of 4 children and still managed to make time for others. If they wanted to they would.

It takes a mere 2 seconds to send a text message, to ask how someone is doing, to show you care. I am well aware of a busy life. I have a fiancé, two dogs, school, a full-time job which at one time I had been working two jobs and balancing all of that and my friendships. But, I was still able to reach out and check in with people. I am SO SO SO tired of people telling me that they are “busy” when quite frankly the people who are ever-so “busy” have been on their phone multiple times throughout the day. You can’t text me while you’re sitting on your couch watching tv? You can’t text me as you take a walk to your car after work? Because I have done that so many times for many of you.

Some people might find this to be hypocritical, but at what point do you start putting in effort? Some of you might be saying to yourself “but if the phone works both ways, why haven’t you talked to me” Why should I always be the one reaching out and putting in effort when you don’t do so AT ALL? So yes, maybe I haven’t reached out to you in a while. But, perhaps think back to the 100x I did reach out first. It gets tiring, because honestly... You are no busier than I am.

At this point, I do not care who you are. Whether you are my friend or family I will no longer coddle our relationship. Not if you aren’t willing to put in the effort. Friendships die off, it does not mean I don’t love you any longer but sometimes people just grow apart. For my family, I should not be the only one putting in effort. You’re more than capable of asking how I am doing without asking my mom or looking at Facebook. You just choose not to reach out & that’s on you.

As I grow older, as big life events happen.. it is not my duty to include you. I have no reason to include any of you just because of how close we WERE, because we are blood related. Make an effort. Show people you care. Let people know you love them.

Effort and Communication is a two-way street, but there comes a point in time where it is okay to stop watering dead plants.