The not so roaring 20's

All my life I wanted to grow up. I was 5 and then suddenly 13. From 13 I was then 16, then I was graduating high school. After high school came college.. Now I am 21 and I kinda wish I was 5 again. Everyone told me growing up wasn't all that exciting. I wish I would've listened.

Recently I have been suffering crazy panic attacks - I blame my mom for them (sorry, not sorry mom). Growing up my mom was always a planner. If there was something happening - there was a plan to a T. We knew what we were doing, where we were going and what was suppose to happen.. If things didn't go a specific way - everything felt like mass chaos. But, I always loved the planning. I loved that my mom always knew what was going on, I loved that there was never any question. So growing up, I always had a plan. I would graduate high school, I would go to college, I would get a job, I would get married.

I graduated high school in 2019. I went to college. In 2020, I decided I would graduate college early - I made a plan for myself. In 2021 I graduated college and got my first full-time job. In December of 2021, I got engaged. In 2023, I will get married... and then what?

The crazy part no one warns you about in your twenties is that it is nothing short of uncertainty. Its the phase where so many different pieces and parts of our lives are changing and its all happening so quickly.

Your 20's is also a time where you have to make decisions about careers, relationships, finances and a whole lot more. We face mass amounts of pressure in our 20's. Yes, I am sure later years will be just as stressful --- but no one really warned us for what happens in our 20's.

Reasons why your twenties can feel like the hardest years of your life:

- Going from student life to work life

I feel like this isn't something a lot of people are necessarily prepared for. We go from college classes sporadically throughout the day to working a 9-5 or 8-4. While college has prepared us with the knowledge to do that specific job, I feel as though we were never prepared to actually know what the work life looks like aside from doing the actual job.

- Wasting a lot of time and not even realizing it

We miss out on so many opportunities because we are so afraid to put ourselves out there, we are afraid to try and we miss out on so many great things just because we aren't realizing what is in front of us.

- Freedom that we don't really know how to handle

I feel as though this is almost college 2.0, when I first went away to college I thought it is so weird that I could go to the store without telling my mom or when I went on my first date in college I didn't have to ask my mom if I could. It was... weird. Now, I am out of college and I have my own finances, my own life and this freedom where my mom doesn't tell me to take out the garbage, wash the dishes, and I do what I want to.. It's just as weird as it was the first time.

- Struggling to make friends..

This has been the biggest struggle for me post college. I felt like post college is when my loneliness peaked. Especially living in a college town, POST college. A lot of my friends are still in school, living their typical college lifestyle of bar crawls, late nights into very late mornings, sleeping all day.. and me? I work.. everyday. Monday through Friday, 8-5 and I struggle to make friends because I feel like no one my age lives that lifestyle.

But... Now is a time for growing, learning and failing.. over and over again. So that is what I will do.