This doesn't feel like HOME.

I miss Oxford. I miss New Phila. I miss familiarity. It does not feel like home here. While I love my house, I love what Colin and I have created, somedays I want to pick up our house and put it in the middle of Oxford.

I miss brick street bar, el burrito loco, bagel & deli. I miss the rootbeer stand, I miss el sans, and I miss my grandparents. No one really explained how hard this would be. Making friends is hard. Finding comfort in new experiences, new surroundings, new people is hard.

When I first when away to college I was extremely excited to know no one at all. But now, I just want everything I am familiar with. I want normalcy. I like where my life is at, but I also miss where it was. I miss small towns and football games, tuscora park, my cute little college town. It is not the same here. I don’t think it ever will be.

I just want to find someone who knows what Smiley’s Pizza is and has tried Wallhouse Coffee. No one knows.

I like Georgia.

Don’t get me wrong, I am glad we moved. I am glad of the experiences I have gained, the life Colin and I have created. When you stay where you grew up, you are constantly reminded of who you were and where you came from. It becomes easy for your high school bully to pretend that you are still the girl from freshman year. I am glad I moved away, but I miss my home.

There’s something comforting about being known, and knowing, but there is something deeply thrilling about heading into the unknown, right now it is just hard. Making friends is hard, meeting people is hard. Creating familiarity and becoming home is hard.

I feel like I am missing out on my siblings life. I don’t know what goes on anymore.

This is something that has been really hard for me. My sister is growing up right in front of me and I am missing it. I have had to learn that I can show up for my people even if that means I have to show up eight hours away.

Moving away from my parents, friends, and hometown has been very stressful and scary because I have left behind everyone and everything I have ever known. While Georgia has given me brand-new experiences and opportunities somedays I still want to go “home.”